He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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