go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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