it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
