Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize