didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize