you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
