I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
this hospital has no fireball
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
