Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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