I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
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