road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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