The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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