I wish I could teleport
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.