My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.