I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
