I just cut my nipple shaving
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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