I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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