Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
These tits shall not be calmed
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
