I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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