am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
