i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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