and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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