Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
