The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
