Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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