you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize