that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
