..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
