check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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