I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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