i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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