Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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