I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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