p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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