her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize