Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
