I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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