I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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