He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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