I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize