I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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