I think about you every night.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day