My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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