So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
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To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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