you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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