The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize