How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm always down for nudity.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize