to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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