I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she peed on how many people?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
