THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
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It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
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I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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