Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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