i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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