Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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