if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
