Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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