All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
